As Leaders, it is natural that you will, at some point, face conflict and the need for correction for your staff or teams. As I watch people move into leadership, I find this area of development is the biggest pushback to individual growth.
I see some individuals skirt issues thinking that the elephant in the room will disappear or avoid the situation which then is never resolved and creates division or insecurity in teams because there is always the “unknown.”
I also find that not addressing issues or concerns in some cases will create a loss of leadership credibility as their teams feel there are not solutions to their concerns.
So how do you deal with this?
Well, here are a few steps to successfully resolving conflict.
You need to start by resolving that if you choose to be a leader you must address the issues at hand. There will ALWAYS be, at some point, a conflict that you will need to mentor people through — I call those “Opportunities to Develop Growth!”
1. Direct the offended to the offender to address the issue privately and come up with a solution to work together. WHY? In Matthew 18:15-17 scripture directs us to address issues one on one, in private I have found through experience, that when I direct the offended to the offender more than likely they realize their issue is not as big as they are making it and there was likely a missed interpretation of the situation.
Best case, they come up with a solution, make up and have a stronger bond then they did prior to the conflict. Conflict resolution can build respect, and I say this with the most grace, but “drama” is drawn out by engaging in the act… If there is a legitimate issue they will address it and if not then we move to on step 2.
2. If there is not a resolve or solution with the two addressing the issues, then I suggest being a mediator to allow them to talk through the issue and find a solution. DO NOT engage in hearsay conversation as you should only deal with FACTS, and help to find a resolve with the facts at hand.
At this point, it is your role as the Leader, to make the lead decision on what is the solution with the resources, policy and guidelines set by your companies, or organization.
When you follow these guidelines, it creates consistency in coaching, consistency in correction, and gives you tools to stay unemotional in the situation. Staying neutral is important as a leader, you need to have an objective resolution.
Always equip them with tools and resources to grow in the conflict as a individuals, as your goal is healing and freedom from bitterness, anger or offense. Walk away with an action plan or resolve they can agree with and document your conversation and solution with a time line.
3. If you have addressed the conflict, come to a solution, and then there is still issue or rebellion you may need to move to step 3 which is to begin corrective consequence for the insubordination.
This is the most hard for people because they “feel bad” or don’t want to “create waves”. So this is how you address this…
Again put it back on the individual, as you do not need to carry this burden, give them the power to make a decision to come under your covering and direction or choose another venue to serve or participate. I give people the power to choose…
To get on the “page” or to choose to leave the team. Really it is back on them; they can either come under your leadership and direction, or choose make a move.
Why so direct you ask? It’s really that simple… if you have given good resources, and equipped them to do their job successfully with healthy boundaries, and clear directions then they are really choosing to just be rebellious.
At this point I would remove the individual, as you are responsible for the rest of your team having a healthy working environment. Now hear me in saying I don’t just remove someone and leave them, IF THEY WILL ALLOW ME.
My heart is always to be a mentor to healing if that individual will allow. I always offer an invitation to bring that person closer to me with a one on one mentoring season where I can walk them through studies, leadership development, or equip them with classes they can attend to grow as an individual.
My goal is that we develop, mentor, and coach to a healthy life style so that we can be successful no matter where we are. In all reality, we all respond out of past wounds, so I try and mentor people to a place of healing. That would be through counseling, prayer, theophostic prayer, cleansing streams, one on one coaching etc…
Our GOAL as leaders should be to impact those around us so that at the end of the day they feel FREEDOM in living, and FULLNESS in life.
I love seeing people successful and moving forward, I pray great success with your teams, and staff. If you have any questions please feel free to send me an email and I would love to walk you through a situation you might currently have! God Bless you in your lives. Candra
Some of my favorite resources …
- Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud
- The Gift of Being Yourself by David G Benner
- Cleansing Stream Seminar Workbook Spiral-bound – by Cleansign Stream Ministries
- Theophostic Prayer Ministry by Ed M. Smith (Author)
- Mind of a Saint 1: Renewing Your Spiritual Lens – Graham Cooke
- Forgiveness Rodney Hogue
- Hosting the Presence: Unveiling Heaven’s Agenda – Randy Clark
- Love & Respect: by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
- His Promise 20 Years Later by Candra Colla-Niswanger